When you’re busy, it can be super hard to prioritize the things that really matter in life, like spending time with your favorite people, getting out into nature, or… orgasming. Now, hear me out; even though most might think that the divine orgasm is more of a luxury than a necessity, I’d argue that it’s actually quite important for us to prioritize our sexual pleasure. Sexuality is sacred and vital — us mere mortals have simply gotten our priorities a little whack over the years. We live in a time where we encourage multitasking at all costs as a way of keeping up and being dizzyingly busy is glorified. As distractions come at us from every direction and anxiety, exhaustion, and depression are all ubiquitous parts of culture, it’s no wonder that there’s less time to prioritize masturbation and sex. But that, my dear friend, is why we need to get off more than ever!
If you consider the tantric view of sexuality, every orgasm is a glimpse of enlightenment and the act of sex is a weaving and expansion of energy. Essentially, the more we’re diving into pleasure and coming, the more we’re tapping into and experiencing this powerful, limitless energy. Pretty powerful stuff, eh?
So whether you’re single, cuffed up, married to your sweetheart, or anything in between, I’d highly recommend prioritizing orgasm. How does one go about doing this all ‘naturally’? In essence, by choosing to derive pleasure via methods and personal belongings that align with nature. By choosing natural ways to turn ourselves on, we are choosing a very powerful facet of ourselves to treat with care and working with Mother Nature in a respectful way. To accelerate your pleasure, here are some natural ways to make sure you get (and stay) turned on.
Set and Setting
- Get your candles lit. Soft lighting and candles are a good way to decrease your external stimuli so you can focus all your attention on channeling pleasure.
- Bring the outdoors in, by filling your house with plants, especially your bedroom. A study on indoor plants showed that houseplants not only can remove 87% of harmful toxins in the air, but they can also elevate your mood and reduce stress, which will definitely help you get in the mood.
- Clean up your space as much as you can! Tidying up your surroundings is super relevant when it comes to our sexual flow because physical clutter takes up precious mental capacity, and we need all that energy to be put toward sexy-time, not toward thinking about our plan-of-attack for the piles of clothing on the floor. For a temporary solution, it’s completely chill to go for the “out-of-sight-out-of-mind” method of hiding your mess in a closet. If your home feels out-of-control messy, Marie Kondo’s methods of organization could be a long-term solution; it takes time and effort, but don’t most the good things in life?
Touch and Physicality
- Make time to move your hips. This is a practice best done by yourself with some sexy music and simply consists of taking the time to sway your hips and stretch them out. Take this time to breathe deeply into your belly, breathing into the movements, and rolling your hips around, much like a belly dancer does. You can totally get freaky with it too, as a prelude to touching yourself. Don’t inhibit yourself with your thoughts and judgments – just intuitively move. If done on a regular basis, this can help to tune in to your divine sexual force so that getting in the mood flows more easily.
- Abhyanga, the Ayurvedic practice of oil-massage is a major key when it comes to getting in touch with your sensuality. Lavishing every inch of your body with rich oil (coconut, olive, or sesame oil work wonders) or a thick balm, or having your partner massage you up and down is a great way to take time to melt stress away, come “home” to your physical body, and check in with yourself about what type of touch brings you pleasure.
- Follow this up with a steamy shower or aromatherapy bath, scented with sensual sandalwood, ylang-ylang, or clary sage essential oils. Water is refreshing and renewing, so it’s a perfect way to wash away thoughts and experiences that could keep you from being fully present for your pleasure. And yes… the oil massage and bath-time are all before you get to climaxing… seduction is even better when layered on slowly, so let that sexuality simmer, baby.
- There’s nothing like eye contact! If you have a level of understanding and trust with your partner where you can tune into deep eye contact, this can be hella sexy. If this is a solo mission, experiment with watching yourself in the mirror. Focus your attention on the parts of you that make you feel powerful and sexy. Feed off of the energy of adoring your body and honoring your sexuality.
- Encourage playfulness and teasing in your erotic exploration because foreplay is a big part of building up to the overall mood. Feeling your sexual energy slowly build as opposed to diving right in can amp up the overall experience. We, as adults, don’t get to play enough, so take advantage of the time you get when you’re expressing your sexual self to have fun and get wild! Bring fun textures, aesthetics, and tastes into the bedroom with feathers, silk, lace, fruit, oils, and honey. Give yourself ample time to explore and enjoy yourself, lover.
- A natural lubricant can be a fun texture to bring into the mix; go with a natural one, like this one, called Shine or this one. Why use natural? Like our eyes and the inside of our mouth, vaginas are comprised of mucous membranes, meaning they have semi-permeable tissues that are extra sensitive. Most conventional lubes out there contain toxic chemicals and endocrine disruptors that you’ll want to keep away from your sexual organs. So what do you want to look for when choosing a natural lubricant? A lot like skincare, the more simple and recognizable the ingredients, the better.
- Damiana is a sensual herb with uplifting and erotic benefits for men and women. It makes a great tea or tincture with lemon and honey.
- Ashwagandha is another herbal aphrodisiac. It supports fertility, balances hormones and cortisol levels, and tastes mellow in an adaptogenic latte. Consume this regularly to feel its benefits.
- Chocolate is the ultimate aphrodisiac as it releases serotonin in the body; indulge in a chocolate that is sweetened with maple sugar or coconut sugar, for something elevated and sexy. Feed it to your lover, feed it to yourself… chocolate cures all.
- Want a magical mixture, pre-made just for you? Try one of these herbal blends out: Arouse me, Super Sexy, or Sex Dust.
- Now is not the time to think about this weeks’ to-do list, that crazy thing you saw on Instagram, or to think about what you should’ve said to that person you met yesterday. Achieving a vibe-y mood is a lot like meditation. It’s okay to let distractions float by in your head, but don’t get attached and run off with them. Be present and try focusing in on one or two details that really get you going in the moment and let those sensations take over.
- You know how they say that comparison is the thief of joy? This could not be more true or applicable when it comes to getting sexy in the bedroom. When you’re diving into a dance with pleasure, honor your time and self by emptying your mind of the outside world, what you wish you could look like, or who you wish you could be. Wanting to improve on yourself isn’t bad in and of itself, but leave those ambitions for a different time. While you’re trying to get in the mood, build yourself up with loving words of affirmation and feel genuine confidence, because you’re damn sexy and this is your time to enjoy yourself!
- Coming back to the tantric outlook on sexuality — having sex and reaching orgasm is a good time to manifest what you want in this world. Sexual energy is potent, so direct it toward that which you desire to see it bring forth opportunities, open doors, and move mountains.
Toys & More
- Chakrubs are natural crystal sex toys aimed to bring “sacredness to your playtime” and bring powerful beauty to your sexual practice.
- Mentors come in all sorts of subjects, including sexuality; consider investing in a sexuality doula, like earth angel Ev’Yan Whitney. This deep, sexual work can transform old habits and thought patterns about sexuality, allowing your to (re)claim your sensuality.
- Wear slinky, sustainable and organic intimates. Nothing is sexier than feeling sultry in something special and supporting companies that provide high-quality, ethically-made lingerie. Check out lines like AmaElla, Faelyn, ClareBare, and Only Hearts Lingerie.
If… you’ve got your candle going, you’ve stretched those hips out, and doused yourself in oil… but you’re still not in the mood, just know there’s still so much you can do to tap into your sexual energy! First, take the pressure off and keep calm. If you’re not in the mood, there’s probably a pretty good reason, conscious or subconscious, that’s keeping you from tapping into it. The mind and body are so intricately connected that chances are, if you’re stressed/worried/angry/tired your sexual flow may get blocked. Before heading back to the bedroom, try amping up your physical activity and getting your sweat on; working out and getting your blood pumping is a great way to work through all sorts of stagnation. If it feels like something a good sweat session can’t fix, get yourself to a naturopath, therapist, or acupuncturist and discuss what you can do. There are so many holistic healers out there with deep passion and verified methods that can help!
So, there you have it — some natural tips to get you in the mood. My last tip is to take and use whichever of these tips you’re drawn to and leave the rest. Your sexuality is your own to explore and get to know. The more time we dedicate toward experimentation and play in this realm, the more familiar we’ll become with what turns us on and taps us into the wonderful, expansive energy of sensuality. And that is time well spent.
Need a little something to help you get in the mood even more? Shop our picks below.
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Feature image via Victoria Morris