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How I Choose to Celebrate Mother’s Day Now That She’s Gone

by Raven Ishak

Mother’s Day, for most people, is a time to celebrate with the women who have been a maternal influence in their lives. It’s a time to show appreciation, love, and gratitude to those who have sacrificed and showed unconditional love in unimaginable ways. If you’re one of the lucky few who gets to spend this day with their mamas, you’d probably take them to brunch, buy them flowers, or give them a card to show them some love. But if you no longer have the ability to spend this day with your mom because she is no longer on this earth, then you may choose to celebrate this day a little differently — if at all.

Losing a mother is an unimaginable experience. The person you’ve known for your whole entire life is gone and unable to be reached. As time goes on, the pain might subside and life will continue, but the memories of them will always be there.

For this Mother’s Day, I wanted to focus on how we choose to celebrate those who brought us into this world when they’re no longer in it. From what I’ll feel and plan on doing for this holiday without my mom for the first time to what it’s been like for our editorial intern to experience this day without her mom for over a decade and what she’s been choosing to do to celebrate her.

Raven Ishak – Editorial Director:

Mother’s Day was a holiday that I truly appreciated because I never really had a strong relationship with my dad to celebrate Father’s Day with. (To be honest, I would just text my mom on Father’s Day because, to me, she helmed both roles in my life). My fiancé and I would take my Mom to brunch, give her flowers, and catch up over warm French Toast (me and my finacé) and an egg-based healthy dish (her) while we sat by the window of one of our favorite restaurants.

But now that she’s no longer here, I feel a little awkward around this holiday because I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to feel. I want to celebrate her like I did on her birthday back in January and how I plan on doing come August when it will be a year since her passing, but this momentous occasion feels a little different because I’m constantly surrounded by Mother’s Day advertising and people talking about what they’re planning on doing for their mom’s on this day and I just don’t feel like I’m invited to this party anymore. I hate writing that because I don’t want others to stop talking about their moms, as I love hearing about their plans; but I just wish that I could participate.

Ultimately, though, this day continues to still be special. I have women (my grandmother, my aunt, my soon-to-be mother-in-law, and my friends who are moms) in my life who I’ll celebrate and show gratitude towards alongside the memory of my Mom. While I choose to connect and celebrate my Mom in different ways every day, this Mother’s Day I’m going to be doing things that will allow me to be present with her spirit. And while I wish that she was down here, having a healthy-ish breakfast with me and my fiancé at one of our favorite restaurants, I know that she’s always with me, watching over me.

Reza Moreno- Editorial Intern: 

To me, Mother’s Day is an incredible day to cherish the strong women in all of our lives. As a young child, I didn’t know what it meant, and when I lost my mother at the age of four, I didn’t understand the significance of it as much as I do now, but I still feel I have an emptiness within that prolonged from her death. I make sure on Mother’s Day to make the day extra special for my nana, especially since my mother’s birthday fell on Mother’s Day when she was born, so I know this time of year is extremely hard for my nana. Although I’m not with her or my step-mother, who I consider my mother above anything, on this day, I celebrate this day in honor of all the strong women in my life with friends here in NYC who also cannot celebrate with their mothers.

Usually this time of year, I feel my mother watching over me more and my emotions tend to be all over the place, but I will be out of the country this Mother’s Day, which will get my mind off of it. And because I am not with my grandmother, since we live on opposite coasts now, it makes me sad I can’t be with her on this day to hug her tight. This day is extremely hard on her as much as myself.

Have you lost your mother and choose to do something special for Mother’s Day? Let us know by shooting us a DM on our Insta @TheChillTimes.

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