Get Well

How to Know When Someone Isn’t Serving You Anymore, and What to do About It

by Liv Schreiber

Sometimes, we as humans have a hard time identifying our shortcomings because we are simply too emotionally attached to our personal lives. Have you ever watched your friend date someone who was completely wrong for them, knowing from the sidelines that they would have a catastrophic ending? It’s like watching a movie where you know the bad guy will lose.

Toxic people and broken chemistry can seem so obvious when you’re the one observing a relationship, but when you’re the one in the relationship, it can be hard to step back and see the bigger picture of one’s life. This applies in all aspects of life, though, be it relationships, friendships, or even the people you work with. If you’re looking to rid toxicity from your life, start by using a simple thought method that any career-person can relate to.

VIEW YOURSELF AS A BUSINESS

The method is quite simple: you are to view yourself as a business. Thinking like a businessperson allows for logic only, cuts the drama, and gets you to the point. I would advise using this method carefully, as relationships with those we love are the most important things we have here on Earth.

Use this method if you need to step back from life and take a look in from a different perspective. There is no space in one’s life for negativity and debby downers. It’s time to whip out the scissors and chip chop away. Let’s start with the fun part: hiring.

HIRING

As with any typical candidate, you’re looking for someone who brings a good attitude to the table each and everyday- someone who offers value to your life. Maybe he or she is your complete opposite (she’s more held-back, you’re super outgoing), and because of this, you make a complimentary team. Or, maybe the two of you are exactly alike. Either way, you want to make sure that this person will also interact well with your current “coworkers” (i.e. friends, best friends, family, significant others, etc). Look at their past “experience”: do they have a history of broken relationships and no pals? This may be a red flag.

ANALYZE

This is the most important part of the businessperson methodology and mentality. You must look to the people currently in your life and view them as coworkers. Do they bring joy into your life, or are you constantly the one working for the team? Do they bring hardships and issues to your life, or evoke drama unecessarily? Are they reliable and people you can trust? If so, it might be time to reevaluate. 

DEMOTE

If you don’t want to completely “fire” someone from your life, the best thing I’d advise you to do is have a conversation about how you’re feeling. Let them know why you feel like they have impacted your life, and talk about how you can collaborate to work on your relationship. If they don’t feel the same way or there seems to be a disconnect, think about how you want mold the relationship moving forward.

FIRE

If you feel as though someone does not deserve to be a part of your life anymore, think about your short term and long-term relationship with the person. Are they simply going through a phase? Are they going through a tough time, and will things be better in the long term? In cases like this, being sympathetic to their needs is always encouraged. However, if you feel they’re too far gone, then firing might be the next best options.

“Firing” people in your life can be extremely painful and a very difficult decision to follow through with. Be sure to look at your life from an outsider’s perspective or HR standpoint. It’s best to not be rash. But if you need to look at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective, this method is a great way to do it. Fire away, sister.

PROMOTE

You can also use this method to “reward” the great people in his or her life, using promotional ways to celebrate their strong bonds and healthy relationships. Turn this methodology on yourself, and use it as a way to analyze how you can better your relationships with others. Are you a good “coworker”? Would your friends demote or promote you? Viewing yourself and others with a business mindset is a great way to think differently.

So… who are you going to hire, fire, promote in your life?

Feature image Vanessa Granda 

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