Ah! Moving in together! It’s one of the best times in a relationship but can oftentimes feel scary. Daunting almost. There’s so much thought that goes into this next step and if you feel you and your partner are ready, there may be some things you should know before moving in together! Are you ready? Let’s go!
Are you two ready to be roommates?
That’s the big question. It almost feels too “broad” (and it is). There’s so much to unpack with a question like, “Are we ready?” How will one know if you are? No one knows the future, but taking a healthy look at your relationship is always a beneficial part of taking the next step. Whether you plan on moving in together, meeting the parents, or just plan on going on your first vacation, it’s good to know you are in a healthy and stable relationship. No need to commit to “forever” with this step! It’s scary but only as scary as you make it. One tip I can give is to write down the things you need in a roommate, your non-negotiables, (for me it’s cleanliness) and discuss those with your partner. If you two are a great fit, go for it!
Having the money talk and creating a budget is key
This is an obvious one but it goes far beyond your monthly rent. You’ll also be furnishing, decorating, purchasing those miscellaneous tools you’ll only need once, and grocery shopping with this person. Personally, my boyfriend and I make two different salaries each month and have two different personal budgets. Whether one of us could purchase a more expensive couch than the other, it was important that we found a happy medium. This goes for everything. We budget EVERYTHING. Before purchasing anything, we know exactly what we’re comfortable spending. We know what our real options are. This may be an awkward conversation to have but very necessary. You don’t want one person to feel left out because they are unable to contribute the same way the other person can, but you also want to know you’re a team!
Friendship is sometimes better than romance
This phrase is a bit misleading as a healthy and successful relationship has a balance of the two, but living together with your partner can oftentimes be more about the daily friendship you share than the sweet and romantic dates you’ve had. Dating is super fun and exciting. You get to see this person when you’ve planned it, you’re eating out, and maybe going on fun adventures together, but the day-to-day life is very different. Of course, it’s what you make it (so go on those dates, eat out, and have fun) but also focus on your friendship with your partner more than ever before. You’ll be grocery shopping together, running errands, doing the most mundane things, and if you can’t have fun doing that or sharing those experiences with your partner, that’s a red flag. Living with my boyfriend is so exciting. Everyday I learn something new about him and I. It’s almost always in the “boring” moments we have the best times!
Set and Understand Expectations
This is probably the most important thing anyone should know before moving in with their partner. What do they expect? From their living situation, from their partner, from this next season of their life? You will contribute to that whether you mean to or not, so sit down and talk about expectations. I’m a very logical person so of course, I had this talk with my boyfriend before moving in together. It was awkward at first but the more we talked about it the more I learned how to better love him and myself. I expect cleanliness and an even split when it comes to house chores. He expects quality time away from our phones. I expect date nights. He expects a budget. I expect to grow mentally and emotionally. We both expect some alone time from time to time. These are things I can say after almost a year of living together we are still able to give to one another, and most importantly to ourselves.
Prepare for EVERYTHING
The good and the bad will come, so prepare. Not even two weeks into my boyfriend and I’s new place, I had a possible ruptured cyst and my boyfriend had to care for me while I was sick. A week later, his car broke down and needed a (very expensive) repair. Then last weekend our fridge broke and needed maintenance. Life happens. It doesn’t slow down for the happy, the stressed, or the deserving. You’re sharing a home and a life together now. You have no choice but to lean on one another more than you ever had. It’s important to prepare. Save money for emergencies. Talk about how you want to be taken care of when you’re sick. Discuss how you cope when you’re stressed, and prepare to be there for it all! These are the moments you grow stronger, closer and fall more in love!
Moving in together is such an exciting time. Don’t let this list or those inner fears keep you from enjoying this next step. No one is ever fully 100% ready and you’ll learn to be the best partner over time. Create that Pinterest board. Save for the couch you want! Order the U-haul and just enjoy every moment of this next season! You got this! We’re cheering you on!
Feature Image via Zillow