We share everything with our closest girlfriends, from our latest shopping splurges, frustrations with our bosses from hell, and even the details of our latest Bumble hookups. So why is it that when it comes to the topic of porn, it is still too taboo to talk about? It is 2018 honey — EVERYONE masturbates; it’s time we break the stigma.
Masturbation has so many awesome mental/physical health benefits such as easing painful cramps, improving your mood, and helping you chill the fuck out after a long day. Here at The Chill Times, we know that viewing porn can be a great way to spice up your self-pleasure routine (and it’s even better with toys in the mix!).
In recent years, there has been a rise of feminist porn directors who have created content with the female audience in mind and female performers who promote a sex-positive lifestyle. This shift in porn has not only empowered females working in the industry but also has opened the door for many women to discover content who finally communicates their sexual desires and prioritize their sexual needs at equal importance as males during intimacy.
You may be wondering what exactly qualifies as “porn made for women.” Without over-generalizing this evolving movement; there are a few unique characteristics that can file content in this genre. The first and foremost would be the shift of focus to female pleasure (say hello to real orgasms on screen!!) — actresses show consent and actually look like they are enjoying their experience with their partner! Another thing that sets this type of porn apart is the people behind the camera, some of the most prominent female directors in the industry such as Erika Lust and Petra Joy have cultivated their own style and attempt to weave in storytelling into their productions. For many women, the foreplay is just as important as the main event when it comes to getting off—these directors put a priority on all the various sensorial details making sex come to life on screen and more pleasurable for the audience.
To shed some light into the viewing habits of women and how the porn stigma has started to deteriorate to catch up to the modern women; we tapped millennial relationship, dating, sex expert, Lindsey Metselaar — the host of the highly addicting (and insightful!) podcast We Met At Acme. Metselaar gives her candid take on how millennials have perceived porn in the past and how the mindset is starting to make a shift in a new direction:
Chill Times: Why do you think there is still a stigma for women to talk about porn and self-pleasure?
Lindsey Metselaar: For millennials, we grew up thinking that porn was something that we had to hide. Porn was never openly discussed in our homes or at school. We would watch tons of movies of men getting caught watching porn (American Pie, etc), but it was never something that women were open about, too, at least in pop culture at the time. Many women are still stuck in the mindset that porn is something they should be ashamed of.
CT: How have the average mindset changed in this day and age about porn and the involvement of women in the industry?
LM: Mindsets are beginning to change about porn and women. This has to do with a few factors but for me personally, I think people are naturally opening up more. I also think pornstars have a voice now. I had the pleasure of interviewing Asa Akira, a well-known pornstar from Pornhub on my podcast, and I was so intrigued by how intelligent she is and how she knows exactly what she is doing. Now that female pornstars have more of a personality and presence, it’s easy to openly support them and the industry because we know watching porn is becoming more of an accepted, mainstream thing.
CT: Are there any websites you would suggest women look up?
LM: I personally love xvideos.com, I like XVideos because it is easy to find exactly what I want and all the videos are free. It’s a culmination of all the best videos from different and some paid porn sites like Pornhub and Brazzers.
CT: What are some common themes or genres of porn that work for women?
LM: Most women tend to gravitate towards lesbian porn. It’s softer on the eyes, and obviously, women’s bodies aren’t hard to look at. Women also like dominating porn. A lot of women have a secret fantasy to be dominated or roleplay, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to their real sex life.
CT: Are there any genres you find women embarrassed to admit they enjoy?
LM: Once again, lesbian porn! Many women think that watching lesbian porn could make them a lesbian. Not the case at all! Some people like brother/sister porn and don’t even have siblings; the two are not necessarily related.
Ready to empower you sexytime routine? Check out some of these websites to dip your toe into porn, made with you in mind:
Bellesa.co (free)
The largest women-focused porn platform on the internet that aggregates top-notch content was started by a millennial #girlboss, Michelle Shnaidman, at only 28 years old. The website houses a plethora of videos that can satisfy a variety of tastes and desires. Their core mission is a belief that sexuality on the internet should depict women as they truly are—as subjects of pleasure, not objects of conquest.
Orgasmic Tips For Girls (free)
OTFG is an anonymous Tumblr account posting personal essays, videos, photos and GIFs all threaded with a sex-positive agency. While the owner no longer posts new content there is a large archive of content geared toward women and even clips of sensual audio (if you are tired of falling asleep to podcasts) to fit your fancy!
Lust Cinema (paid)
Looking to up the ante and see what the best of the industry is creating? Check out Erika Lust’s Lust Cinema. While this site is subscription based, the quality of content produced exclusively by feminist directors is unparalleled. Videos not only contain convincing storylines but also compelling cinematography that will immediately set the mood.
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Feature image via Vanessa Granda
